Take Me Home
by blondebibliophile
Summary: You got that James Dean daydream look in your eye and I got that red lip classic thing that you like. And when we go crashing down, we come back every time, 'cause we never go out of style. We never go out of style.
1. Chapter 1

_You got that James Dean daydream look in your eye  
And I got that red lip classic thing that you like  
And when we go crashing down, we come back every time.  
Cause we never go out of style.  
We never go out of style._

I opened the car door and unfolded myself from the seat, snatching my crossbody. I leaned my head back into the open window. "Thanks for making me go out tonight."

"Blame end of finals week and my inherent need for margaritas," Paris replied. "We're so close to graduating that I can taste it."

"Amen," I replied. I stepped back from the door and waved. "See you at graduation?"

"I'll be the one in the cap and gown, Gilmore," Paris laughed and put the car in drive, cruising down the street.

I smiled to myself and crossed the road to mom's driveway. Paris and I had already moved out the day before. Now to wait another week and a half for graduation. Assuming we passed our exams, that is.

I noticed a dark Trans Am halfway up the street, partially covered by an overhanging tree. A car decal on the back window had The Clash scrawled on it. That brought back some memories.

I walked into the house and flipped some lights on. I heard footsteps squeak upstairs and walked to the staircase. Mom's head poked over the railing, her eyes sleepy and her hair a rat's nest. "Hello darling daughter."

"Hi Sleeping Beauty. Sorry for waking you up."

"I heard Paris' car drive off. How was karaoke night?" She slumped down on the top step and let her head fall against the wall.

"Off key and sloppy," I laughed. "Go to bed. We'll go to Luke's for pancakes tomorrow."

Her eyes were half lidded and she nodded, getting back up. "Ok. Your heels are cute."

"That's because they're your heels."

She raised her arm in acknowledgement as she turned the corner. "Night!"

I had missed her. Living here after graduation again would be weird but familiar, like slipping back into a pleasant dream night after night.

I tiptoed through the kitchen and grabbed a Pop-Tart from the box on the counter, leftover from this morning's quick dash out the door to get back to campus for my final. I stretched my arms out above my head with a yawn, happy to be free of worry for awhile. I debated dragging my ass to the bathroom to scrub the eyeliner and red lipstick off but was so exhausted that my bed just sounded too magical.

Pushing through the cracked doorway to my dark room, I threw my purse on the bed and leaned against the end of it to take my heels off. I noticed the open window and the seductive curl of cigarette smoke before I noticed the slight form perched in the armchair across the way. Dark hair, dark eyes, and a dark leather jacket stood in contrast to the light streaming from the kitchen.

My heart stopped. "What the fuck are you doing here?"

Jess smirked. "Hi Rory."


	2. Chapter 2

_Midnight, you come and pick me up  
No headlights  
Long drive, could end in burning flames or paradise  
Fade into view, it's been awhile since I have even heard from you  
I should just tell you to leave cause I  
Know exactly where it leads but I  
Watch us go round and round each time_

I couldn't breathe and all I could think was **no, no, no, no, no**. Words couldn't form on my tongue and a tear sprang to my eye.

He had a smirk on his face, his crooked mouth that I used to love tracing with my finger. "How are you?"

Anger rose in my chest and my face flushed pink. "How am I?" I slowly enunciated the words. I stomped to my door to close it. To gain some composure.

 _Breathe. Breathe._

Sucking in a deep breath, inhaling the smoke and his cologne and the tension all in one. _Exhale_.

Turning on one heel to face him, I sized him up. Chucks, old jeans, white v-neck, battered black leather jacket from his high school days, that lingering smile, eyes crinkled as if laughing at a private joke, hair long around his ears and tousled like he'd been running a hand through it for hours. God, he was still handsome as hell. It hurt to look at him now. _Keep your distance_.

"You break into my house, wait for me to come home like a burglar in the dark, scare the shit out of me, and then have the audacity to ask me how I'm doing?" My voice had risen to a squeaky level only dogs could hear and I realized I had crossed the room in my tirade so he was now a mere two feet away.

He stood up in one fluid motion, flicking his cigarette butt to the grass outside. He closed the gap between us quickly and very softly, so slight that I could hardly feel it, touched the tips of his fingers to my cheek. "I didn't break in, your window was open."

I scoffed but closed my eyes as his fingers began caressing my face and his other hand taking mine. I leaned into him, savoring just the small taste of his proximity. I had always been addicted to the shock of static that ignited when he touched me. Regaining my consciousness, my eyes flew open as quickly as I darted to the opposite side of the room.

"Nope. Absolutely not. We're not playing this game. Get out." I had to stay away from him. This is how it started last time.

"Rory. Come on." He put his hands in his pocket and rocked slowly back and forth.

"No Jess. I'm tired of this. It's been three years. Move on."

That stopped him for a second. I noticed he was edging towards me again. "Three years isn't that long."

My jaw dropped. "You're fucking joking right? Jess, come on."

"Give me a break Rory. I came back. Doesn't that count for anything?"

"No Jess Mariano, it does not. Let's recall together, shall we? What happened three years ago?"

He opened his mouth but kept quiet. I started to rant again but was stopped in my tracks by a knock and a familiar voice. "Ror? You ok?"

My stammered for a moment and ran to the door, cracking it a bit. "Fine. What's wrong?"

My mom had her robe wrapped tightly around her and fuzzy bunny slippers adorning her feet. She looked at me warily. "Who are you talking to?"

I lied. Quickly. "Paris. She called to ask me what answer I got on like the twenty third question on our final today. You know she's crazy. I tried to tell her I was in bed." I was talking too fast. _Slow down_.

Mom stared at me for a few beats too long and then surprised me by pushing my bedroom door open all the way. I held my breath, praying silently. She stepped into my still dark room and soaked everything in. "Why aren't you wearing your pajamas?"

"Uh, I was just lazy." Shit.

"Hm. Why does it smell like smoke in here?"

"Must be my clothes from the bar. I'm about to change." My eyes flitted around the room. Where did he go? The curtains danced on the soft breeze. Out the window?

"Your face is red. What's wrong?"

I walked to my top drawer and pulled out some shorts and a tank, eluding her gaze. "It's just hot, mom. Go back to bed, it's late."

She walked to my window and closed it. "The air is on, babe. No wonder you're hot with this open." She turned to me and rubbed my arm, looking me in the eye. I smiled as she kissed my cheek. "Get some sleep, Ror. I have lots of fun activities planned for your first day of freedom tomorrow."

"Can't wait," I replied. As she slipped out of my room and shut the door, the breath I seemed to be holding gave out. I ran to the window and didn't see him anywhere.

Suddenly I felt hands on my arms from behind and a warm body pressed against me. A voice whispered in my ear, "Not the first time I've hid in your closet." His arms snaked around me, pulling me close.

"What happened three years ago, Jess?" A tear ran down my face and I was glad my face was turned.

I felt more than heard him sigh against me and shake his head. Another tear on my cheek. Silence followed. He was so good at running away from broken things.

I sighed. "How about I have a go then, yeah? After being basically abandoned by you when you went to California and missed my graduation, you show up at the doorstep of my dorm right before my freshman finals. You whisper sweet nothings in my ear. You _fuck_ me. And then I wake up and you've vanished. Again. No phone number, no note, no smoke signals. You left, Jess."

He was silent again but his voice was rough when he spoke. "I was scared Rory."

I whipped around, pushing him away from me, seething. "You were scared? Of what Jess? My love?" His eyes widened. "That's right. You knew I loved you. You knew how I felt. You broke me Jess. I cried all summer after. I've compared every man to you. How could you?"

He took a step towards me. "Don't," I whispered fiercely. I knew he could see my tears and I didn't want him to touch me. "Don't move."

Jess sighed. "I never deserved you. Never."

"You bet your ass you didn't. I gave you everything. All of me. And you threw it away. All you had to do was stay. Why? Why Jess?" My chest was heaving and I knew I looked as pitiful as I felt but I didn't give a damn.

"You said loved. As in past tense." He wouldn't look me in the eye.

"Are you serious? Did you think I would wait for you?" I swiped tears from my cheek. He didn't deserve them.

He ran a hand through his riot of black hair and down his face. It was like he aged ten years. "I'm sorry."

"Too late," I spit out. "Get out."

He started pacing quickly. "What do you want to hear Rory? That I love you? That I've always loved you? That I've lived the last four years in absolute torture not being able to touch you every minute and thinking of someone else holding you? Trying to make myself better and deserving of you so that I could prove that it's me you should be with?" His eyes were fiery and his breath ragged.

I let out a sob. Never had I heard the word love come from his lips. Ever. I couldn't breathe, couldn't think. "Fuck you."

His face fell and he just stared at me, raking his eyes over my face. "Rory."

I whispered again, "Get. Out."

He gave me one more look before silently slipping out my bedroom door with an invisible click. And then he was gone.


	3. Chapter 3

_You got that long hair, slicked back, white t-shirt.  
And I got that good girl faith and a tight little skirt,  
And when we go crashing down, we come back every time.  
Cause we never go out of style  
We never go out of style._

He was gone. He's gone. Gone. Gone. Gone. I still couldn't think. I ran to the window to see him hunched over, walking down my long drive.

Why? How could he? He abused my love over and over and now he wants to reciprocate. No. _He loves you_. No. Part of me was soaring at the thought, knowing he finally returned the love I had so freely given him for so long. Part of me was crippled. Was it too little too late? How could I forgive him?

My mind went blank and suddenly I found myself grabbing my crossbody, slinking out my door into the kitchen, and running to the front door. My heels click clicked on the tile but I was too caught up to care. I was on the porch before I realized what I was doing and at my noise, I saw him turn. I pulled my heels off and sprinted across the dewy grass at a breakneck speed. His face had no emotion except for his open mouth and limbs askew in shock.

I almost took a dive from my wet bare feet on the grass but his arms were there before I could even register a fall and I was swept up against him, mouth pressed ferociously against his. I couldn't breathe. I dropped my bag on the ground and suddenly my arms were around his neck, clinging to him.

It was a tango of tongues and teeth, fiercely battling each other in passion and hatred. My skin burned where he touched me and I slid down his body, my shirt lifting and my feet finally touching the ground. His hand slid roughly into my hair and the other roughly caressed my hip, continuing its trajectory along my skirt to brush my thigh. Nothing mattered in that moment. It was him and me and complete silence pressed in on us as we focused only on our kiss. A kiss so long coming that it ached in my bones. I felt like I was home.

He came up for air and rested his forehead to mine. I gasped for breath and suddenly noise came rushing back, crickets and far off cars and wind chimes. A cacophony of nighttime surrounded us. "Jesus," he breathed out. "I missed that."

I choked down a laugh and put my hands to his face, soaking it in, remembering. The high brow, the sleepy brown eyes, the freckle on his cheek. Three years. Nothing had changed.

He turned his face and kissed my hand. "Let's get out of here."

"Where?" My brow furrowed.

"Anywhere. Who cares?"

It only took a single heartbeat for me to nod yes and another ten to reach his car. A black Trans Am. I should've known.


	4. Chapter 4

_So it goes  
He can't keep his wild eyes on the road  
Takes me home  
Lights are off, he's taking off his coat  
I say I heard that you been out and about with some other girl  
Some other girl  
He says, what you've heard it's true but I  
Can't stop thinking about you and I  
I said I've been there too a few times_.

Lights flashed by as we drove through the night towards the coast and my grandparents' beach house on Cape Cod, three hours away. It was a second long decision but an easy one. Plus I knew where they hid the key.

I had curled up in the front seat, his leather jacket warming my bare legs, just staring at him as he drove, soaking him in. The silhouette of his face against the night, his strong fingers tapping the steering wheel, his knee bouncing up and down nervously. He was actually nervous. I smiled to myself. He hadn't touched me since the single fast but fierce kiss through the passenger window when he stopped to get gas and cigarettes.

His eyes flicked back and forth from my face to the road. He pulled a cigarette from the carton with his teeth and lit it while driving. With the cigarette in his left hand on the wheel, he nonchalantly draped his right hand in my lap. I didn't place mine in his but traced letters into his palm with my fingernail. He shivered but pretended to ignore me. Man of little words. I didn't want to be the first to break the silence.

The rhythm of the car and sounds of traffic rushing by us on the interstate put me in a light sleep, his hand still in my lap.

I woke off and on, every time having to remind myself where I was and who I was with. Once I did, I drifted back off. Safe. I woke once to his hand on the back of my neck, a solid but steady weight. Another I heard his voice in the night. "Luke, it's me. I know you won't get this until morning. I won't be home for a few days. Rory's with me. Tell Lorelai. And don't worry. We'll be home soon."

Nothing sounded better to her in her subconscious drifting than the words 'Rory's with me'.


	5. Chapter 5

_Take me home  
Just take me home  
Just take me home_

 _You got that James Dean daydream look in your eye  
And I got that red lip classic thing that you like  
And when we go crashing down, we come back every time.  
Cause we never go out of style.  
We never go out of style._

I woke to the sound of waves crashing and a soft heat on my face. Sweet dreams. A light sheen of sweat on my forehead. My legs tangled in soft sheets. An arm dangled across my abdomen.

My eyes snapped open. It took a moment to get ahold of my surroundings. Four poster bed, white quilt, bookcase in the corner. My bedroom in Cape Cod. My grandparents beach house. Jess Mariano lying to my side in the small bed.

Did I make a mistake?

I slipped carefully out of the bed without disturbing him. I was dressed in my bra and underwear. He must have carried me up from the car. I tiptoed out of my room and down the long staircase. My grandmother's touches of decor here and there throughout the home.

As I wandered through the home, I noticed white sheets still covering unused furniture. They didn't open the beach house until late May and it felt like I was disturbing the empty peace of silent ghosts and dust mites streaming in through the sunlight. I picked my way over the hardwood through the sun room, stopping to snatch a lightweight throw and wrap it around my naked body.

I let the screen door from the sun room slam behind me and let me bare feet sink into the hot grains of sand outside. Closing my eyes, I turned my face to the sun and took a deep breath. Twenty four hours ago I was leaving Stars Hollow to finish my senior year at Yale. Twenty four hours later I had ran away almost two hundred miles with my ex boyfriend, with whom I was still in love with. Madly. Desperately. Life was funny this way.

I made my way to the shore and sat just far enough so that the ocean touched the tips of my toes. I leaned back, the blanket covering half my body. The sun was like fire on my skin but in a good way. It made me drowsy and loose. I closed my eyes.

Jess wasn't the kind of man you marry and have three kids with. He wasn't the man who moved to the suburbs and mowed the lawn every Sunday. What did I want from him? Anything? Everything?

My love for him was raw and fierce, a non-stop tidal wave even after almost five years. I had missed him so much, like a piece of my soul was ripped from my body, walking around with no doubt to who it belonged to. Had he longed for me the way I had him all that time he had stayed away?

"Yes." A shadow fell over me, blocking the sweet sunlight.

"Yes what?"

"Whatever you're churning over and over in your brain, chewing on your lip, looking so sad. The answer is yes."

I sighed and opened my eyes. His hair was tousled, jeans sitting low on his hips, his tan chest gleaming in the glare. "Did you miss me?"

"Every day. Every night, Rory." He sat down and pulled me to him, gathering me into his lap, blanket tangled around my limbs and in the sand.

"Are you sorry?" I bit my lip and he pulled it from my teeth, touching my mouth with his fingertip.

"I wish I could tell you how much. Every day I was away from you split my heart into a new piece. I wasn't good enough for you then. I've been trying to be a better man since."

I loved this boy. Man. Whatever he was, he would always be it for me. "Do you love me?"

I heard him sigh. "Since that very first night I met you and stole the book from your room. I've been yours since then. I'll always be yours Rory."

And she was home.


End file.
